I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
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they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
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They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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