i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
