I want to stick my p in your. b.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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