forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You were trust falling into bushes
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
