Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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