It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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