HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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