I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
