why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
