im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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