Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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