Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
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