So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
