i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
