i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You are a genius and a whore.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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