So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
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Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
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Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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