I wannas sexs uuuuu
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
