You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Its about making memories worth repressing
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
