i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
