do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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