Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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