I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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