Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
