I need to stop coming to work sober
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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