your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
