why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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