do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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