just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
