you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
