Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
