I heard we made out
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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