I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Randomize
