Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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