Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
