So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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