Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
