areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I can text with my tongue
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
