I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
this hospital has no fireball
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
