so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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