But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
