I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
