ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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