I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
