do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
