That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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