it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just forgot I was standing up.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize