you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
