1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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