So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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