It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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