I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
