the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
