It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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