This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
