Porn is love you can see.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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